Wednesday, October 7, 2015

The Positive Side

Written August 10th, 2015

It's hard to believe that it's been less than a week before I saw the magical plus signs and realized that yes, this is really happening.

Being 5 weeks today brings such a rush of mixed emotions. I'll admit I google too much, and for every happy baby story it seems like there's five about miscarriages. We told N's father's side last night after his sister revealed to everyone she was expecting her 2nd. We kind of just blurted it out, and ever since I've been slightly regretting even saying anything. It's still so early on, and while part of me is on cloud 9 imagining what life is going to be with a baby, the other part is terrified that it might not happen.

We still have 7 long weeks until we're officially in a "safe" place, but now begins a life where nothing is truly "safe" anymore. I keep telling myself the best way to be is positive, so for now I'm focusing on today. Today I am pregnant, and today I love our baby.

Weeks along: 5

What's new with baby: Currently an apple seed. This week the spine starts to form, along with some of the major organs.

Maternity Clothes: None yet.

Symptoms: Getting the tiniest bouts of nausea and some mood swings (Ns mostly getting the brunt of those), but otherwise feeling great.

Cravings: Nothing so far.

Workouts: Just a 4 mile run on Saturday. I didn't get back from visiting NY for my Grandma's funeral until Wednesday, and Thursday/Friday I was wiped out.

Baby Purchases: Nope

Rants/Raves: N has been great throughout this process so far, and seeing him so excited melts my heart.

Sleep: Okay, but not great. My brain has been on overdrive ever since we've found out, and I've been having really vivid dreams so it's been hard to stay asleep.

Looking forward to: Telling my family this Sunday at family dinner. I can't wait to see the look on my parents faces :).

Concerns: 7 weeks seems like such a long time. I'm so anxious to get my first ultrasound so I can see Baby M, but 5 weeks seems like such a long time away.

How we found out: I was in New York visiting my family since my Grandma had passed away, so I took a test the day before I left. We had been trying for about 3 months, and when the test was negative I assumed nothing was out of the norm so I didn't think anything of it. Well, when nothing came during my 5 day trip, I was officially late. N picked me up from the airport and I had him drop me off at home so I could take the one test I had left while he went to buy a couple more. Almost instantly it was a positive. I texted him the picture of the test and added in a "Yep, definitely pregnant!" but never got a response back from him. Then I realized I just texted my husband the biggest news of our lives so far. TEXTED. Who does that?! I was so excited at this point I waited for him in the driveway to get back, and when he got out of the car I asked him if he had checked his phone. Luckily he hadn't, so when he looked at his phone and read the text I got to see the full effect of him realizing he was going to be a dad. It was the cheesiest, happiest face I've seen, and we sealed the good news with a kiss.

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